I remember the moment everything changed. The children were already having such a hard time with big emotions, sudden outbursts, and days where simple routines felt impossible. I was doing everything I could to keep us steady, even when the house felt chaotic and unpredictable.
And then I got my cancer diagnosis. It felt like the floor dropped from beneath me. I worried not just about my health, but about how I could keep caring for my children when they needed me so much. I wasn’t working, I was exhausted, and every day felt like a mountain to climb. I wanted to be strong for them, but I was scared. I knew they needed support, but I didn’t know where to start.
When help arrived, it felt like someone had finally taken my hand and said: “You don’t have to do this alone”.
Little by little, things began to change. I learned new ways to support my children, how to help them understand routines, how to prepare them for changes, how to stay calm even when their emotions were very big. The ‘Staying Well Plan’ became something I relied on every day. I started using visual timetables, social stories, and even something called an “Oops Card” to show them that mistakes aren’t disasters, they’re just part of being human.
There were fewer moments of fear. Slowly, I watched my children settle. Fewer times where behaviour spiralled out of control. More moments where they felt safe, calm, and understood.
And I changed too. I felt my confidence return. I wasn’t just reacting anymore; I was able to guide them.
Even on the hardest days, the strategies I’d learned helped me stay grounded. I even started learning to drive because I wanted to give my children more stability and independence. Every small step felt like a victory.
One of the things I’m proudest of is how I learned to keep everyone safe during difficult moments. There were times when the children became overwhelmed, and instead of panicking, I stayed calm. That was a huge turning point for us. Our home feels different now, not perfect but calmer, more predictable and kinder.
There are still challenges, but we face them together with new tools and newfound hope. The children laugh more. They trust more. And for the first time in a long time, I feel like we are going to be okay.
Find out more about our Spelthorne Family Centres and the support they can offer here.
